Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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