Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
