Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
As shirtless as possible
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
