All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
