On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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