i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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