Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
