Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
