Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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