yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
