Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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