There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
They are going to name an STD after you.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
