Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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