That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize