i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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