I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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