I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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