One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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