U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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