my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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