So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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