I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
