they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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