Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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