ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
