How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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