But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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