u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
