girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
