That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
