I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
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