You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
