I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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