No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
