I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
