He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize