Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
