Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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