went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
