apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
