i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
