Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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