ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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