I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
