Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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