If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
