I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
