wakey wakey hands off snakey
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
