I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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