She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
