Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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