At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
