thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
