Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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