I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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