no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Watching her eat just hurts me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
