There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
