her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
