I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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