There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He has the fingertips of a God
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