AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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