Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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