Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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