dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
