last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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