so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
