omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
