I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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