so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
