Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
