Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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